First Sentences……And a Giveaway!

According to some, it’s dangerous for my brain to start turning……

Regardless of what they say, I did start thinking. This week it was about first sentences…..mainly due to an article posted last week on Writer Unboxed (and #2 in “My Week in Favs” post last Friday): “The First Sentence as an Amuse-Bouche.”

I’m not talking about just any first sentence like those that begin a new chapter – though I personally believe the first and last sentence of every chapter should be grand and enticing. That’s for another post.

I’m talking about the very first sentence of a book.

Whether in the prologue or the first chapter, a first sentence should catch the reader’s attention. Yeah, yeah…most readers give us an entire page before they’re putting the book back on the shelf, but……

…what if one sentence was all you had?

For the sake of ‘research’, my sister, Elizabeth, and I took a trip to Barnes and Noble this week. We spent around 3 hours perusing through several different genres.

Based on the covers – since we know that a lot of readers tend to pick up or ignore books based on their covers – we methodically picked 4 books from each genre and wrote down their first sentence (some were covers we liked, others not so much). We even made it a point to not read the back cover blurbs until after we read the first sentence (I know, a little backwards, but a lot of fun).

So let’s take a look at these first sentences, shall we?

There were 28 books in total, but I’ll shave it down to 14 for you:

*Note: Each first sentence will be followed by the first comment that was made by either Elizabeth or myself.


“Blue planet Earth and its seven billion beings lay 440,000 kilometers below – or, given the arbitrary terminology of orientation in space, off to one side.” - Heaven’s Shadow by David S. Goyer & Michael Cassutt
*”A little too science-ey for me, but alright. I think you may have me a bit longer.” – Me

“Francesca Thayer sat at her desk until the figures started to blur before her eyes.” - 44 Charles Street by Danielle Steele
*”I’ve done that before.” – Elizabeth

“”You’re my lucky piece,” Grandma says.” - The Girl Who Fell From the Sky by Heidi W. Durrow
*”Hmmmm…..I need more on that one.” – Me

”Graf Milieu, my fiancé, stands in the sunlight filtering through sheers of the bedroom window.” - Bones of a Feather by Carolyn Haines
*”Oooookay……” – Elizabeth

“We came home because we were failures.” - The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown
*Me: “Is she writing about us?” Elizabeth: “It sounds like it, huh?”

“Jack Holloway set the skimmer to HOVER, swiveled his seat around, and looked at Carl.” – Fuzzy Nation by John Scalzi
*silence….more silence…. *Elizabeth closes the book and silently puts it back on the shelf*

“I’ll say one thing about walking around with a rubber band up your asscrack – it helps you train for torture.” – The Deadliest Bite by Jennifer Rardin
*”Amen to that….wait – what torture?” – Me

“My life fell apart when I was sixteen.” - Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor
*”More please.” – Elizabeth

“Only three people were left under the red and white awning of the grease joint: Grady, me and the fry cook.” – Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
*”I wanna know what you were doing there.” – Me

“Everyone has a secret.” – The Tudor Secret by C.W. Gortner
*”And I wanna know yours.” – Me

“I had just come to accept that my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen.” – Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
*”That sounds interesting…..” – Elizabeth

“Jimmy Cornett, the leader of Black Briar, paced the length of the room, eleven strides before turning and making the return trip.” – Honeyed Words by J.A. Pitts
*”Uh-oh….it’s the second book in a series and I don’t know who Jimmy is.” – Me

“French is a sexy language.” – The Whole Package by Cynthia Ellingsen
*”Yes it is!” – Elizabeth

“The shovel has to meet certain requirements.” – Bad Things Happen by Harry Doland
*”I must know more.” – Me

**BONUS FIRST SENTENCE**

“I am Josephine Darly, and I intend to live forever.” - Blood Magic by Tessa Gratton
*”Now THAT is awesome….it’s the first sentence and literally the first chapter.” – Me

**Note: These were our opinions as readers. They’re not intended to offend any of the wonderful authors or their work.

I bet you can guess which books I *may* have walked out with that night or added to my TBR list, huh?

Bottom line:

First sentences are important. There was a chance for me, as a reader, to buy – or add to my TBR list – 28 books. Instead, I only decided upon 15. It makes me wonder if some of those first sentences that failed to intrigue were the original first sentences that kicked off the first draft?

HOWEVER…..

Just because there’s a great first sentence, doesn’t mean the book lives up to its intriguing promise. This means that as writers we should:

• Concentrate on finishing the story and editing and polishing it up FIRST.
• Once the story’s written: Put it on a shelf for a bit then you can go forth and do some editing. Sometime during the editing process, first lines will flow through your brain. I can almost guarantee it! At times, the first sentence will come to you the moment you finished the first draft!
• Take the idea of your first sentence and sit on it for a few days. If several possibilities popped into your head, write them all down then come back to them every once in a while over the course of a few days. Remember: the best possible first sentence for your story takes time. Let is stew while you enjoy a new book or something.
• Why do that? Because you want to make sure you don’t fly a bunch of people over to Jurassic Park and promise they’ll *see* dinosaurs only to either have the exhibits pull a no-show on you or have your guests eaten alive by the carnivores. You want a happy medium in your first sentence that will entice and deliver.
• Take that fabulously awesome first sentence and build it into the beginning of your MS. Re-work the first chapter if needed. Re-writing is *almost* as fun as writing that first draft (for me it’s a little more fun than editing also).

And the research continues……


Giveaway Details:

I will be giving away 2 books this week. One has a great first sentence and lived up to its promise. The other didn’t have *too* great of a first sentence, but the story completely blew me away and left me craving more – and ton of other readers felt the same throughout the world:

Marked (House of Night Series #1) by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

 

&

The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games Series #1) by Suzanne Collins

 

How to Enter:

Crack open a book on your shelf – doesn’t matter if you’ve read it or not – and leave a comment that includes the title, author, the first sentence of that book, your name and your email address.

Then, answer one of the following questions ß Remember, this is for research :)


1. How important is the first sentence to you?

2. Does your purchasing a book hinge on that first sentence OR is it a combo of the back cover blurb and the first sentence (or the first page)?

3. If you’re a writer, what is your process for writing and/or selecting the perfect first sentence?

Get your comments entered by 8pm on Wednesday, August 17^th …..please :)

*You must have at least listed a book title, the author, the first sentence and your email address in order to be entered. You can also specify which book you would *prefer* to receive. 

Two winners will be selected by drawing names out of a hat – yeah, we’re goin’ old school on this one – and announced in next Thursday’s post (8/18/11).
**Contest is open for US residents only**


Happy Reading and Writing Everyone!!!!

Melinda

This Week In Favs……….

10) “On Distractions” by Nathan Bransford. “You can’t write if you don’t live.” <—This is some of the *best* writing advice I’ve ever heard! As writers, we set schedules for our writing so as to ensure we’re writing everyday to get something on the page – myself included. But Nathan’s post runs right along with the schedule I set forth for myself last week in taking 30 minutes during the work week to write while using the other free-time to spend time with my hubby, sister, work-out, and/or read. My weekends have a bit more time allotted for writing, but I still carve out time to spend with my friends who are always a source of inspiration for me. Okay, so yes, when we’re deep in the writing we want to grab onto it while the Muse is singin’ loud and proud, but what happens after the Muse’s song is over? LIFE!!! That’s what happens. A chance to recharge your battery so you can come back to your Muse when they’re ready, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and recharged to take down the next part of the story.

9) “How to Be a Better Writer: Today” by Angela Kulig at Angela WRITE Now. This is a new series by Angela that focuses on how you can be a better writer TODAY – or as Angela put it: “…how you can be more gooder!” :0) Angela left us with five points on how you can make yourself a better writer and each one holds a nugget of truth on what we as writers should do. My fav? #2 ‘Learn a new word that means the same thing as another word you already use too much.’ I’ve been trying to use different words in my WIP lately. Thesaurus.com has become my best friend. This even made me start thinking about how I use the word ‘awesome’ too much in my daily life and don’t realize until the hubs says something. My new word to replace that one? ‘Stupendous’! <—I can’t take credit for finding it though…he did the legwork for me. :0)

8) “How to Write a Query Letter” by Rachelle Gardner. Ah! The ever important query letter that stands between you and obtaining representation. I have to admit that I haven’t even thought about my query letter yet. I’m still in the editing process, and frankly, it’s a little daunting. If you’ve read the posts on QueryShark, then you may understand why I say that. Countless books have been written about how to write a query letter (I have two sitting on my bookshelf), but I rather enjoyed reading Rachelle’s quick and easy tips for a great query. Somehow, they’re not as intimidating to me anymore, which means that I may just start writing one as soon as this next round of editing is over. **Rachelle has more posts on Query letters and they can all be found right here. 

7) “Why Prologues Don’t Work” by Kristin Nelson. This struck a chord with me because I’ve been thinking about turning the first chapter of my WIP into a prologue. After reading these points from Kristin, I am definitely re-thinking that idea. While I’m still *considering* the idea, I now know what definitely doesn’t work so I can aspire to write a prologue that does. This is a list I believe every writer should have saved somewhere just in case their story calls for one. Ya never know…by having these tips handy, you could be the one to break the mold by writing a fabulous prologue one day!

6) “Conflict vs. Tension” by Becca Puglisi on The Bookshelf Muse. I love reading about other writers’ epiphanies! Becca’s is especially important as it points out the difference between conflict and tension. You may have conflict written all-over your MS, but that doesn’t mean the page-turning tension is there, does it?? Nope, not one bit! Becca’s tips for writing a MS full of tension are spot-on: Conflict in every scene, primal stakes, and clear emotional responses. This is yet another post that made it into my ‘book of knowledge’ (aka: three-ring binder full of printed blog posts with tips and tricks for a writer about the craft).

5) You guessed it! Another So You Think You Can Dance goodie! I bet you’re wondering why I chose to include these dances on my list. Here’s why:
Inspiration can be found in many different ways, people, songs, books, etc. For me, inspiration can be found in both music and dance. The young dancers of So You Think You Can Dance are 100% purely inspirational to me. Their dedication, their ease of movements and their infectious personalities all inspire my writing in some way, shape of form. Most Wednesdays, it’s a new song to add to my writing playlist because of how it was expressed on stage, but other times, it’s the emotion that the dance evoked inside my heart.

Ok, enough of that…bring on the dancing!

After seeing Sasha dance the 2nd routine of the night with All Star Kent – last year’s runner-up – the show was O-V-E-R for me. I was just absolutely….done! This dance was all about two people and the wall their relationship has hit and all the emotions they feel as they’re fighting to get to the other side of that wall. Tyce Diorio, the choreographer, is another one of my favorites and I just…I just love his work to pieces. I really really hope you enjoy this routine:

BUT! Another something-magical happened! The very last dance of the night featured contestants Caitlyn and Marko and WOW! If you remember, the song, “Heavy In Your Arms” was one of the Songs of the Week here on the blog. The interpretation of that song here was AMAZING!! Here’s the premise: Marko is an over-bearing, controlling man and Caitlyn is trying to escape him so she can find her own voice. I’ll let their dance tell you the rest:

4) “Things I Never Considered About Being a Writer” by Lisa Gail Green on Paranormal Point of View. Learning from other writers is one of the many things I LOVE to do and Lisa’s post hits all the other highlights of why I enjoy being a writer (other than the magic of writing). Everyone is so open and willing to share their knowledge: my family and friends are behind me 100%, I welcome constructive criticism and/or rejections and strive to learn from them, and the people I’ve met and connected with are absolutely amazing at what they do.  I’m proud to have been able to interact, learn from, and call them a ‘writer friend’. In regards to learning, there’s a similarity in writing and practicing yoga: you’re always learning, always a student. You may be able to teach others about a few things along the way, but there’s always room for us as writers to grow and learn from one another.  

3) ”The Flaw in JKR’s (Brilliant) Plan” by S.P. Sipal at Harry Potter for Writers. So….I guess there’s hope for me? LOL! Seriously though, when it comes down to it, I agree with Susan here: “…noting these mistakes JKR made gives me hope. It reminds me as a writer that I don’t have to be perfect (though that is no excuse to not strive for excellence). What is absolutely required, however, is to thrill my reader as JK Rowling did that these imperfections just make the work sparkle more brilliantly.” Nobody and no story is going to be perfect….but we sure can try and rest easy at the end of the day if it isn’t. Don’t you agree??

2) “The First Sentence as an Amuse-Bouche” by Therese Walsh on Writer Unboxed. We’ve all experienced and dealt with the pressure of trying to come up with that amazing first sentence. One that’ll hook the reader from the get-go and never let them go. But, unfortunately, sometimes we stare at a blank page and watch the cursor while we try to think of how to start our next WIP. My advice? Scrap thinking about how you’re going to start the next project. Just start it! Once you’ve reached the end, that perfect first sentence will come to you and hint at the fabulous character arc the reader is about to experience. The first sentence of my WIP didn’t come to me until the moment I typed The End: “Today was the day I wish I had the immortal gifts of my characters.” <—Is it making you go ‘hmmmm’?

1) “Meta-Emotion: How We Feel About Feelings, and How it Can Affect Our Writing” by Sarah Fine on The Strangest Situation. This post was a wonderful insight into how we as writers feel about feelings and how it leaps into our writing. This is one of the many reasons why I feel like I have to become my characters when I’m writing them. I’m pulled into their minds and feelings, leaving my own on the door step as I take a walk in their shoes for a day and witness a vastly different set of emotions and thoughts. If I didn’t, there would be a whole lotta author intrusion going on and that’s just not attractive. No one feels the same way or handles situations the same way I do. Not my family, not the reader, and most certainly not my characters. This post reminded me of that.

**Bonus Link!!**

“Writer Brain” by Patti Larsen.

Here’s a little humor to start your weekend off with. It’s a ‘Public Service Announcement’ that gave me a fit of giggles while I was reading it though mostly that was because I was nodding my head as I read through most of Patti’s signals of the condition.

I’m on the road to recovery. :0)

Here are a few updates to go along with this week’s favs:
Off the Blog: Overall, this was actually a great week! On Monday, I went back to work (after a 7 work-day vacation) and I wasn’t nearly as overwhelmed by emails like I thought I would be. I’m still behind on a few things, but they’ll get done sooner rather than later. I even started my new ‘Finding the Balance’ schedule and so far, so good there!
On the Blog: It was an awesome week for writing. I had a hard time picking a ‘Top Ten' – or top nine if you remove a space for a SYTYCD clip. I even had a stroke of inspiration this week and wrote a post on writing with multiple POV’s. I’m crossing my fingers that this will happen again over the weekend so I’ll be all set on posts next week! :0)

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

Happy Reading & Writing!
Melinda

Whose Line?!? Using Multiple Points of View in Your Writing

Remember the improve comedy TV show ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’? Well, Colin, Ryan, Wayne and Drew popped into my head recently as I moved from one POV in my MS to another during the editing process.

Picture Courtesy of ShareTV.com

We’ve seen, read and experienced POV shifts in novels, but when it comes to actually writing those shifts, we sometimes find ourselves a little worried about whether or not those shifts of POV are working. Personally, my MS shifts between first-person POV – told from my protagonist’s POV for about 85% of the story – to third-person POV – as a way to both help move the plot forward (since there are some fairly major steps taken by characters other than the MC) and help the reader along in understanding the ‘supporting cast’ of the story. I know, I know….shifting from first to third must be ‘handled with care’ and while it’s great in theory, it doesn’t necessarily work. But that’ll be for my beta readers to decide. Any takers? J If I need to re-write everything in third, then that’s what I’ll do. *Side note: the last novel I read that shifts from first to third – very sparingly – and handled it beautifully was ‘A Discovery of Witches’ by Deborah Harkness. I highly recommend this book to everyone I meet.
 
So what is ‘handling with care’ when it comes to POV shifts?
 

• White space and astericks are your best friend!Chapter or scene breaks are my personal go-to device when it comes to moving the focus from the MC to another character. Normally when we see POV shifts, we’re also experiencing scene changes (There are rare situations where two POV’s are told for the same scene, but let’s just stick with the basics today), so naturally a scene or chapter break is going to be used. White space and/or asterisks are your best friend when breaking and/or shifting! I hate reading and enjoying a scene when out of nowhere, without warning, the next sentence starts another scene entirely from a different character’s POV and you’re left standing in the middle of a dark hall thinking “Um….what just happened here??”. Having white space or asterisks lets the reader know you’re about to take a right turn at the next corner…gives them a map, so to speak.

 

• Let the story/characters decide ‘Whose Line’. In my case, I have a first-person protagonist, so any scene that entails both her and multiple characters is going to be told from her POV. But if you’re writing in third and you’ve come to a point where two or more of your characters have found themselves together in a scene, let the story and/or characters decide who’s going to narrate. Maybe the MC should? Maybe the most opinionated of the crew should? Let them decide and follow your gut on this one. The worst that can happen is it doesn’t work like it should so you search for another character/angle to tell the scene from then re-write. We’re writers….this is what we do best! :0)

 

• Find the unique voice in each POV you’re writing. Let me ask you a question: How would you feel if all of your friends, colleagues, family, or critique partners had the same voice as you?? You’d get a little bored with your day to day conversations wouldn’t you? So will the reader. If every character they’re following sees the world the same, reacts the same, feels the same, etc. then you will have lost your reader. Sometimes you’ll lose them before they really get a chance to dive into the heart of your story. Use your friends, family and colleagues as inspiration. Don’t be afraid to ask them how they see the world or how they might react and/or feel about a particular action or problem. Just keep in mind that you’ll be doing that for research so any heated debates and/or arguments you subsequently enter into cannot be blamed on me. :0)

 

• The protagonist rules all! Create a chain of command when it comes to your storytellers. Start with your protagonist as the ‘Colonel’. As such, 80-90% of the story is going to be told by them. With the rest of your characters, a.k.a. the ‘Soldiers’, be selective in deciding who’s going to be the best at storytelling and moving the story along. Then decide on what % of page time they can actually have. Too many storytellers are extremely annoying, especially when the story is supposed to be about one character’s journey, yet it’s being told by too many other people with too many opinions. One of the ways I’ve seen this done successfully is by Jodi Piccoult, as her stories are told by many first-person narrators and I personally believe she is one of the exceptions to this rule. Just as Soldiers should report to their Colonel and the Colonel report to the General, supporting characters should follow the lead and allow your MC to take charge in reporting the story to the reader. Only when needed – and sparingly – should a Soldier report directly to the General.

 

• There is strength in small numbers. When starting to write a story with multiple POV, it’s important to decide how many different POV’s your willing to allow. The higher the number, the higher the difficulty in keeping up with their individual voices, quirks, opinions, and actions. And not just for you, but your readers. Keep unnecessary voices out of your story…especially if their voice doesn’t help move the plot along. Even if they have an opinion relevant to your story, find another way to incorporate it -- a simple conversation with another character whose POV is being told will suffice.

 
These tips for handling multiple POV’s with care are only the tip of the iceberg. There are gobs and gobs of information out there on this topic alone. These are some of the personal tips that I’ve put together based on my own writing experience.
 
What about you? Do you enjoy reading and/or writing multiple POV’s? If so, what do you find most attractive about this style of writing? Do you have any tips on writing multiple POV’s you’d like to share? Have you read any books lately that have shifted POV’s so seamlessly that the story was enjoyable?