Finding the Balance, Part Deux: Warning Signs and How to Gain Control Again

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Last July I addressed every writer’s favorite topic: Balance. Back then I described life as I knew it as chaotic. Has it changed? No, not really. But instead of out-of-control chaos these days I find myself in the realm of calm, otherwise known as contained chaos – composed and unflappable. *knocks on head wood*
 
Last year I addressed my personal struggle with balance and shared the plan I’d created to get everything under control. I’m sure it’s needless to say, but that plan didn’t quite pan out like I’d hoped. And that’s okay. Sometimes it takes several failures before you finally realize the warning signs, what’s needed to gain back control, and how to maintain that new feeling of I’m almighty and can do anything.
 

Warning Signs

Sometimes we find ourselves so knee deep in life, work, projects, reading, etc. that we miss the forest for the trees. We miss the warning signs that the road we’re on is going straight to Chaosville and our vehicle is slowly but sure gaining speed.
 
You might need a U-turn if:

• Someone mentions a popular TV series such as Touch, Game of Thrones, True Blood, House, M.D.,The Vampire Diaries, and Modern Family and you say, “Huh? Never heard of it.”
• Your to-do list has grown exponentially over the last six to eight months, everything piling on top of each other, and you’ve yet to delete one or two items to lighten the load.
• Your coworkers, friends, husband or kids can count on more than two hands the number of times you’ve said, “Oh my God, I’m soooo busy,” or “It just doesn’t stop!” or “Kill me now!”
• You spend at least two hours every day/night writing a blog post, or with your Tweeps, or commenting on others’ blog posts. Then you’re upset because your writing time is almost nonexistent afterwards.
• You curse yourself nearly every day because in order to be a good writer you have to be a reader first…and the finishing time for a novel lately is nearing the one month mark.
• The last time you and your pillow made sweet, passionate snoozies you were lucky if it lasted five hours (and you can’t remember a time where you got at least 8 hours of sleep).

 
Any of these sound familiar to you? If more than two or three of these do then it’s time to slam on the brakes and jerk the wheel to the left. Get the hell out of dodge and don’t look back...not anytime soon at least. *smile*
 

Gaining Control

Once you realize you have uncontrollable chaos on your hands, it’s time to stop the time suck, evaluate, plan, re-apply (‘baby steps’) and re-apply again (in ‘time out’):
 

• Stop the time suck: Break from one of your biggest time sucks (other than plotting/writing/editing, reading and education). Break from it for at least a month. Mine was blogging and social media in general.
• Evaluate: After a week or so without the time suck, stop and evaluate how much time you now have on your hands. You’ll probably start to feel as though you have a bit too much time. *cheers* You work, come home and cook/clean, spend an hour or two on the WIP and/or other special project and/or watch a movie/TV show, and still have time to read for about thirty minutes before it’s time for bed. AND you and your pillow are once again well-acquainted!
• Plan: Now that you’ve been unstressed by time (hopefully), you can realistically plan your time. By having so much time when you’re not at the day job, and not stressing yourself out to get this done, get that done, do this, do that, you can actually sit back and realize 1-2 hours on the WIP is enough per day or every other day. That a TV series is awesome and well worth an hour a week. That movies are a delicious break from life in general. That doing absolutely nothing for a while feels absolutely amazing and should be done at least twice a week. And so on and so forth until you begin to think, once again, that you truly can balance all of it.
• Re-Apply: Ease back in to your previous time suck with baby steps. The last week or two of your break, ease yourself into the former time suck by maybe tweeting two-three times and commenting on blogs maybe 2-3 times a week.
• Re-Apply: Begin anew with your previous time suck by disciplining yourself like a three-year-old in time out. Buy a timer, set it to 20 or 30 minutes, and stick to it! Spend that time visiting other blogs, chatting on twitter, and contributing to your next blog post. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s okay to write your posts and/or research them a little a time. Plan ahead to ease the pain.

 
In the end, you’ll feel more relaxed, more like yourself, more free than you had before, and more like the super-being you are.
 
Do you have a U-turn ahead in your future? What were your warning signs? Are you back on the road after a recent U-turn? How did you gain control of the chaos?

Finding the Balance

Like a lot of people, I’ve been struggling with balance in my life for quite a while now…balance between my work life, my writing life, my reading life, my blogging life (which is still new to me), and my personal life. I’ve got so much going on, that I’ve lovingly referred to my life (as I know it) as chaotic.
Fellow blogger, Lisa Gail Green, actually posted an article, Balancing Act, that has stuck a chord with me since the day I read it. I’ve thought long and hard for the past several weeks about time/energy management. 
Just to break down the chaos for you:

• I work 40+ hours a week at a job that I absolutely love and enjoy. Everyone I work with has become family, and the company’s absolutely amazing to work for.
• I’ve completed the first draft of my WIP and am currently 70% through my first round of edits. I’m still overwhelmed by the amount of work I’ve got ahead of me: 2nd and 3rd drafts and line edits (to name a few). 
• I love to read, and in order to be a writer – at least a good writer - you have to read; mainly books in your genre. This is a much needed escape for me and without it, I’d be completely lost -- no GPS system on earth would be able to locate me.
• I enjoy connecting with other readers and writers via Twitter, Blogger and Facebook. I often find myself on there for at least an hour every night (C’mon, it’s really really easy to pass that 1-hr mark on the clock!). I learned quickly from my FT job that networking is important in business and I’ve actually grown to love it.
• I have a blog and I thoroughly enjoy sharing my life with other readers/writers...especially my personal favorites from the week! I like to put myself out there, say what I need/want to say – whether it’s wrong or right – and share my fears, hopes and dreams.  I also enjoy spending time on other people’s blogs, reading their fears, hopes, dreams, and all of the wonderful writing tips they each have to offer. Everyone is so amazing that it’s hard to keep up with it all!
• I have a wonderful husband and small circle of friends that I absolutely love and adore. While my husband is extremely supportive of my craft, I often feel guilty since we don’t spend too much time together during the week. I also couldn’t imagine not going a week without seeing our dear friends.

Now, when you think about, that doesn’t seem like a lot. But when you dive into it, there’s only so many hours in the day to do it all (Side note: I am a little OCD and a complete Type-A personality. Call me crazy and it won’t hurt my feelings whatsoever.). The only constant that I know I must do to keep my ‘mojo’ is writing and/or editing. With the exception of one day a week, I have to spend time (even the smallest amount) with my current WIP. Whether it’s writing or editing, it’s an absolute must. The worlds I create are mine and I looove spending time in them. My muse and those worlds keep me sane (at least by my definition of the word).

Sooo………

Here’s my solution/plan for Finding the Balance in this chaotic, surprising, exciting, lovely life:

• Taking it one day at a time: I was given a motto by an old boss several years ago: IOOP = I’m Only One Person. I try to do as much as I possibly can. I’m a passionate and selfless person, and as such, I push hard and strive for my dreams. But…..
• Remember: Stress = Illness. The more you stress, the more your body wears down (notice I didn’t work fitness into my chaos – I should probably re-evaluate that). You lose sleep the more you stress, thus, the more your body begins to beg for you to sloooow the hell down! *One day at a time*
• Several passions = several days a week to slowly spend time with them all…without feeling guilty. As much as it pains me to not be able to write for three hours every single night, I’ve come to realize that ‘slow and steady’ can be best (more to come on this one). Beginning Monday, I’ll begin following a strict schedule:
• Monday & Tuesday evenings: 30-minutes working out, 1 hour for blogging - and not just my own, but reading and catching up on some of my favorite blogs! Follow up with an hour of editing and an hour of reading (depending on what the hubby and I have planned).
• Wednesday evenings: 30-minutes working out followed by quality time with my lil’ sis, then quality time with the hubs. <—this entire night provides what can be a much-needed break from writing and editing! 
• Thursday Evenings: 30-minutes working out, 1 hour of Twitter/Facebook, 1 hour of blog time (personal blog this time) then an hour of quality time with my WIP.
• Friday Nights: This was a tough one to plan out, but I’m leaving Friday nights open to do whatever my little heart desires: hanging out with friends, editing, spending time with the hubs, watching a movie, reading a book….. the possibilities are endless!
• Saturday Mornings: More time (maybe 2-4 hours) with the WIP (or spending time editing my CP’s MS or researching a new project). Maybe I can squeeze in another 30-minute session of working out???
• Saturday nights: much-needed quality friends and family time! <---and maybe a little brainstorming on my WIP with my best friend (who is also an avid reader & tells me if I’m falling off the tracks).
• Sundays: Twitter, blogs, laundry, alone time with the hubby, TV show catch-up…maybe a little reading as well, but only after spending more time with the current WIP. 

Notice I didn’t include blog surfing in there? Well… I consider the blogs I ‘follow’ as favorites. I tend to come across other blogs by following the hashtags on Twitter and I plan on reading through those during my breaks/lunches at work (thank goodness for my android phone!).

We’ll see where this new outlook and plan will take me. Who knows…I may find enough time to  add another item to my list.

What balance are you struggling to find? Is it between work and personal/family life? Work, personal and reading and writing? Or maybe it’s just a professional balance: you spend to much time on emails, and not enough time on reporting or talking with your clients?

Please share your thoughts, fears, and insights on Finding the Balance in your life.