Margie and I dancing before headin' to the airport |
And we’re calling it The Margie Lawson Triple Blog Extravaganza!
Part One of my Immersion Master Class experience is at Jami Gold’s blog, and Part Two is with Angela Ackerman at The Bookshelf Muse blog.
Oh! And before you get going, allow me to let you in on a little something: Margie’s giving away three exciting gifts during this extravaganza! Woo hoo!!! See? It’s like Christmas in September!
Here’s a breakdown of prizes for the Triple Blog Extravaganza:
- At Jami Gold’s blog Margie is giving away one lecture packet ($22 value)
- Over with Angela at The Bookshelf Muse blog, Margie’s giving away another lecture packet ($22 value)
- And here at Muse, Rant, Rave, Margie’s giving away one of her online courses ($40 value)
Buckle up and get ready to comment so you can grab a seat and be a graduate of one of Margie’s courses!
Take it away, Margie….
*****
A huge heartfelt hug to Melinda Collins for writing the blogs about my Immersion Master Class and setting up the Triple Blog Extravaganza!
A giant Thank You to Jami Gold and Angela Ackerman for featuring Melinda’s piece on their blogs.
Visit all three blogs today! You have three chances to be a WINNER today!
Dig Deep for NYT Writing!
By Margie Lawson
Writing is hard, hard, hard.
Digging deep to write fresh is harder, harder, harder.
It’s dig-to-China-with-your-pinkie harder.
Each time you write, you have the opportunity to write something in a way that has never been written by anyone else.
You may describe a feeling in a way no one else ever thought to describe that feeling. And the way you write it may resonate with thousands, or tens of thousands who read your words.
The passage below is from a Margie-grad, Lisa Wells, the author of Dibs. She’s taken all my writing craft classes and attended a four-day Immersion Master Class in my home in June. I have her permission to share this excerpt she deep edited in Immersion class.
Lisa Wells, excerpt from The To Do List.
The sound of children laughing pulled her out of her daze. She glanced toward the playground. Small children: round, skinny, short, tall, were climbing, swinging, sliding, hiding on the same equipment she’d once played on. To the casual observer, they were normal children.
But she wasn’t casual and they weren’t normal.
She didn’t need to be a doctor to know if you took an x-ray of their childlike bodies, you’d see loneliness lining the inside of their laughter and caution patrolling the outside of their hearts.
You’d see a trash bag full of rotting hope at the bottom of their bellies, and an old tattered bag of self-esteem on broken-down shelves.
You’d see the hardened hearts of the older orphans tattooed with name-calling graffiti. Words like unloved, unwelcomed, unliked, unwanted permanently etched in pain.
And you’d see their memories of the families who came looking for a child and didn’t choose them…and didn’t choose them….and didn’t choose them.
And that’s not all you’d see.
BLOG GUESTS: That’s fresh writing. That’s NYT writing.
Every time I read that passage it gives me visceral responses.
Kudos to Lisa Wells.
NYT writing doesn’t have to be long. It may be a short sentence.
It may be what I call a SAP. Short And Powerful.
Here’s a SAP from Robert B. Parker, Widow’s Walk:
The sinking feeling bottomed.
I know that feeling. I know what that character is feeling.
But I’ve never seen that feeling written with those four words. Ever.
It’s a SAP. Short And Powerful.
Here’s another short sentence that grabbed me. It seems like a simple sentence, but it carries power. It’s by another Immersion grad, Bernadette Hearne.
Bernadette Hearne, from her WIP, Traitor to Love.
Sally hovered in the doorway, bearing a tea tray and a scowl.
That sentence is an example of one of the thirty rhetorical writers I cover in my Deep Editing course. It’s a zeugma. You’ve got to love anything called a zeugma! J
Here’s another zeugma. This one is from Suzanne Turner, who is a multi-Margie grad, and a two-time Immersion Master Class grad.
Suzanne Turner, from her WIP, The Lost Chord
His voice was low and rough, filled with the promise of a new puppy, or the moon, or an apology.
Ah – That zeugma is in a dialogue cue.
Here’s another example of zeugma in a dialogue cue. It’s from Joan Swan, another Margie grad. Joan Swan is a multi-Margie grad, a two-time Immersion Master Class grad, and a three-time Golden Heart nominee.
Her debut novel, Fever, was released in the spring, and Intimate Enemies was just released.
Joan Swan, from book 3 in the Phoenix Rising series, to be released in 2013.
“Come on, baby.” He crooned the words in a voice that should have been outlawed. Deep and smooth and so damn sexy.
Joan’s example includes another rhetorical device too.
Polysyndeton: Deep and smooth and so damn sexy.
Joan created what I call poly-zeugma. A rhetorical device combo. Smart! And smooth too.
If you’re still not sure what a zeugma is, I’ll share one more example. It’s one I made up for teaching purposes.
Margie grabbed her purse, her keys, and her steely resolve.
Now – I bet you know how to write a zeugma. :-)
What contributes to NYT writing?
Using style and structure and thirty-plus rhetorical devices.
Thinking like a psychologist. Knowing the nuances of writing craft.
I teach six different writing craft courses and each course is loaded with dozens of Deep Editing techniques that teach writers how to add power to their writing.
Yep. Each course is full of DOZENS of psychologically-based deep editing tips and techniques.
Here’s a sample. It’s just a sample.
Power words. Visceral responses. Fresh writing. Cadence. Cadence. Cadence. Fresh writing. Varying length of sentences. Avoiding Telling Tags. Fresh writing. Body Language. White space. Avoiding Linear Load Issues. Dialogue Cues. Fresh writing. Avoiding clichés. Kissing your as’s goodbye. Natural sounding dialogue. Fresh writing. Tracking senses. Keeping your voice strong and fresh. Nixing echo words. Assessing flow. Clarity. Clarity. Clarity. Humor Hits. Fresh writing.
Working harder.
Digging deeper.
Making words and phrases carry triple their weight.
Writing a non-POV character’s description so expertly, that your POV character’s attitude toward that character is clear, and powerful. But conveying that attitude just through the description.
Nixing all the mundane.
Crafting every sentence to propel the reader into the next sentence. And the next. And the next.
Writing so agents and editors and reviewers and readers will never want your book to end.
I could share hundreds of NYT examples, just from a few groups of Immersion grads, or from on Fab 30 course.
My apologies to all the mega-talented Margie grads I didn’t have an opportunity to spotlight in this blog. You all know your writing impresses me. I trust that your writing will impress agents and editors too.
I’ll share one more example. This one is from multi-Margie-grad, and Immersion grad, Melinda Collins.
I surprised Melinda. She didn’t know I planned to use an example from her WIP. When she reads this, I bet she gets a visceral response!
Melinda worked on this piece in Immersion class. She also tweaked it with the help of her Editing Partner and Immersion sister, Samantha Leach.
Melinda Collins, from her WIP, Destiny Awakened
At fourteen, I realized he wasn’t the man I once knew. It felt like he turned into a mad scientist and forgot all about the daughter he left behind. So I cut him out of my life and buried those memories deep. Mammoth cave deep. Grand Canyon deep. But my traitorous brain ambushed me and they were exhumed. And with each stab, the shovel pierced my scarred-over heart.
NYT Beautiful.
Margie-grads: What rhetorical devices did Melinda use?
I’ll share one, Margie-grads share one.
Parallelism: So I cut him out of my life and buried those memories deep
The examples in this blog share fresh psychologically empowered writing. NYT writing. It’s cotton-candy-on-your-tongue writing. It makes the reader want more and more and more.
My online courses are loaded with tips and techniques for how to dig deep. How to write fresh. How to add power to every page, every sentence. Please drop by my web site and check out my courses, and the full line-up of courses offered by Lawson Writer's Academy.
BLOG GUESTS: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!
1. You may post an example of fresh writing from your WIP or fresh writing from one of your favorite authors.
2. You may write something fresh – and post it.
3. You may post a comment -- or post ‘Hi Margie!’
4. Margie-grads – Post the example and name of the rhetorical device that Melinda used.
You could WIN an online course from me, a $40 value!
Winners on all three blogs are selected by random.org.
I’ll post the names of the winners on the blog on Wednesday, between 12:00 and 12:30PM Mountain Time.
Lawson Writer's Academy now has 37 courses and 12 instructors. LWA courses are taught in a cyber classroom from Margie’s website, www.MargieLawson.com.
The first three courses just started. Registration is open through Friday.
Instructor: Lisa Miller
Instructor: Shirley Jump
Instructor: Suzi Lazear
Instructor: Margie Lawson
Please check Lawson Writer's Academy to read course descriptions for October and November courses. Thank you!
*****
Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques used by writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.
Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last seven years, she presented over seventy full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
Please contact Margie if you think your group might be interested in having her present a master class for them.
For more information on Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, full day master classes, and the 4-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in Margie’s Colorado mountain-top home, visit: www.MargieLawson.com.
*****
Melinda here! WOW! WOW! WOW! Now we ALL know what to strive for: NYT Writing!!!
Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how much my writing has changed since having taken one of Margie’s classes! And it’s not just my writing itself, it’s my writing process, my thinking process, my editing process. ALL of it has changed! And ALL of it for the better! I am a stronger, more confident writer thanks to the time I’ve spent learning from her, and I do hope that you get the chance to learn from her as well!
And DOUBLE oh my goodness! Margie certainly surprised me by using that example from my latest WIP! *happy dance happy dance* Thank you, Margie! YES, I had a visceral response! *BIG grin* And thank you to ALL my immersion sisters for all of your support during and since our Immersion Master Class!
Whew! Okay, so don’t forget, Margie’s giving away one online class here, a lecture packet at Jami’s blog with Part One of my Immersion Master Class post, and another lecture packet at The Bookshelf Muse blog with Part Two of my Immersion Master Class post. Just leave a comment to enter!
The winners will be decided/announced by Margie on Wednesday, September 5th (tomorrow)!
Good luck and Happy NYT Writing!!
@TheresaMCole · 656 weeks ago
gloriarichard 15p · 656 weeks ago
Zeugma! (Yes, Margie. I still want to slap back a shot of Ouzo when I use that word.)
Since I sleep with the Rhetorical Device List (RhetT DevlisHt) Sherry Isaac and I created during live-and-immersed meets with Margie, I won't buzz in to list the spots RhetT danced in that beautifully written passage.
Signing off now before my fingers type epistrophe.--OOP!--or sentence frag--OOP!--or...
idreaminink 2p · 656 weeks ago
Anna T. Sweringen · 656 weeks ago
Here's my try at something fresh: my hero is a vampire and the heroine is from a race of sinless humans called Edenics.
Val stopped the car but let the engine idle.
“Look, Amanda. Being a vampire gives me options mortals don’t have.”
She crossed her arms. “Any that don’t include violence?”
“You have a problem with violence?”
“Yes.”
“Even the kind that saved your life two days ago?”
“You mean the kind you used to make sure you’d have what you wanted: me?”
“No. I mean the kind I’ll use to keep you and our child safe. The kind I use because I’ve stopped being selfish, stopped being evil, stopped being undead. The kind I’ll use because of your love.”
They sat and glared at each other. The rumble of the engine gave voice to the tension stretching in the silence between them.
Anna T.S.
Giles Hash · 656 weeks ago
saraleee 1p · 656 weeks ago
It wasn't a very good plan. In fact, it was a ludicrous plan, but he'd been in the cell for days and he was out of ideas and options. He had to give it a try.
“Do you know what a beard feels like,” he asked softly.
“Of course not,” she growled, her hair still shading her face.
He could free himself, and overpower her. Then fight his way out...The first step was to get her within reach. He moved close to the bars of his cage-like cell. “Come and find out.”
That brought her head up. She gave him a long, skeptical look.
“Just in the interest of—satisfying your curiosity.” The rational part of his mind was shouting that this was a very bad idea. Possibly the worst idea he'd ever had. But it would have to do.
Her eyes sparkled with renewed interest and she moved toward him, just as he knew she would. Volatile, curious elf. She was so predictable.
I just wrote this story for fun. You can read the whole thing for free on Wattpad: http://www.wattpad.com/story/1430766-when-thorin-...
Tami · 656 weeks ago
I'll nibble, sign me up for the contest. Structure plotting is one of my weaknesses, so that class is whispering naughty things to me from your page.
Snippet from my recent short story, Love's Champion:
<quote>
Riding a dragon was nothing at all like riding a horse.
Take falling, for example. Fall off a horse? Ground ain’t all that far away. Fall off a dragon, though, and the paramedics would be scraping your pancake off the highway on the seven o’clock news.
</quote>
Laura Drake · 656 weeks ago
Okay, may be early for this, but here goes:
He whispered, “You can trap me in your room anytime you’d like.”
Heat sizzled through her like rogue electric current . She wasn’t going to look, but she thought maybe her pubic hair had just burst into flame.
stlaurec 4p · 656 weeks ago
Melinda, I'm sure you adored your time on the mountain. Margie, can't wait to see you again!
Carole St-Laurent
angelaackerman 16p · 656 weeks ago
Melinda, great sample--you did a great job with that. Thank you so much for joining me at TBM and sharing what a great time you had at Margie's!
Happy writing, everyone!
Angela Ackerman
Shana D. · 656 weeks ago
Thanks for sharing your wealth of knowledge, Margie!
sjmaylee 6p · 656 weeks ago
amydenim 1p · 656 weeks ago
Miranda - love that NYT passage. Your anadiplosis (deep, deep, deep) really made that passage sing for me!
Popping over to the other two blogs now.
--A
Debra E. Marvin · 656 weeks ago
lots of 'she's.
This WAS like a refresher course. I sit here with my colored markers and when I surprise myself with something "fresh" I put a big NYT next to the sentence. THANK YOU MARGIE!
Oh how I need to kiss my as's goodbye. Oooh, painful reminder. What course or brain transplant will help me with that?
Liz Lincoln Steiner · 656 weeks ago
Bronwen Jones · 656 weeks ago
Bernadette Hearne · 656 weeks ago
If you work hard (and she will work you), your writing will improve more than with any other class you've taken. She's that good. Her techniques work that well. And the critiques she offers in her immersion and Fab 30 classes don't just help you with your writing, they help with storytelling too.
And no, I'm not getting anything to say this. I just want to share the wealth of what she has given me by recommending her to others. Love ya, Margie! You've given me back the joy.
Karen McFarland · 656 weeks ago
Haley Whitehall · 656 weeks ago
Tricia Skinner · 656 weeks ago
(No bears were harmed in the retelling of my experience.)
Truly, Margie's stuff works. If I could get one wish, I would ask to be cloned so I could sign up for all of the cool workshops she hosts.
Trish
(Current Fab30 in 40 participant and Story Structure participant; lecture packet cheerleader)
authorjulieglover 4p · 656 weeks ago
Barbara Rae Robinson · 656 weeks ago
Barb
Lisa Wells · 656 weeks ago
Lisa Wells
jamigold 41p · 656 weeks ago
This is an unedited paragraph of character description from my newest WIP (she's surreptitiously sketching a fellow bus passenger):
Her gaze stole across the aisle to check out her subject. As usual, dark sunglasses hid his pools-of-warm-honey eyes. No matter. A swinging backpack had knocked into him months ago, and she’d gotten enough of a glimpse as he’d retrieved his shades from the bus floor to burn the image into her memory. Eyes like that would make puppies jealous.
Paula Boire · 656 weeks ago
Gosh, Mel, no one could've summed it up better. Your description of the unbelievable difference Margie's courses make in one's writing and skills levels is absolutely true. Wish we were back on the mountain right now. I'm thankful every day for everything I've learned from Margie. Nice use of epistrophe in the example Margie posted. :-)
I'm reading Harlen Coben's new novel, Stay Close. Lots of RDs, clever lines, and jaw-dropping description. Here's one passage I especially enjoyed (among many): From p.47: Rudy sat behind his desk. He could have worked as an extra on The Sopranos, except the casting director would deem him too much on type. He was a big man, sporting a gold chain thick enough to pull up a Carnival Cruise anchor and a pinkie ring that most of his dancers could wear around their wrists. (Great ex. of how to take simple to sublime.)